To the Wedding Couple: I hope you don't mind if I invite everyone here to listen in as I share a few things with you in a spirit of Love.
We are here today to celebrate the love that has brought you together. Today we are acknowledging the fact that each of you has had a separate life journey that has connected you to one another in love. This commitment you have made to one another is the outward and visible sign of the Love and joy that exists between you.
Isn't that amazing when you think of it? Out of all the people in the world, you have been drawn to one another and you want to spend the rest of your lives in a loving relationship.
Wow!
Today you have pledged yourselves to one another and everyone here is a witness to that. But today there is just the outward and visible sign of what Love has already done in your lives. The love that surrounds you and sustains you is visible and present here in this place. Our co-celebrant has spoken the traditional words spoken at weddings down through the centuries wherever Western civilization has left its mark, and you have spoken words of love and dedication to one another. Soon we will celebrate in some other ways. What a lot of joy!!
I feel very blessed and honored to be able to speak now, and I am so grateful to you both for bringing me here to share this time with you.
In the volumes and volumes written about love, I just want to lift up a few passages from some of my favorite songs. The first one was written by John Lennon – "All You Need is Love". I know that as Baby Boomers, we can almost not help humming as we remember some of the lyrics:
"There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game.
It's easy.
All you need is love."
But what exactly is love?
Maybe we can start by talking about what Love is not.
First, love is not just a feeling.
Love is a decision. Love is action. In order to find out if the attraction you felt for your groom was something worthwhile, dear bride, you came all the way to the far reaches of the south Pacific from Central America. And dear groom, you responded after the two of you had been together in person here by trekking all the way across the US and then down to Central America and back with your beloved. Those two sets of effort and the willingness to risk changing your lives speak volumes about your love in action.
Second, love is not something that causes hurt or pain to the beloved.
This doesn't mean you won't hurt one another. No one is perfect and often there are misunderstandings. We often act out of old hurts that need to be healed, and I believe that Love is the great healer. But Love is not deliberately mean or cruel. And the way Love helps us is by giving us the ability to work through issues and to forgive one another when we hurt someone we love.
Third – love involves at least two people.
We do not live in a vacuum, but hopefully in relationship. Not only does the love you have include everyone here who loves you, but Love also encompasses everyone who has ever loved you. The experiences you had with others you have loved are all part of the love you share together.
People often love weddings because the joy that comes from openly sharing love is contagious. And your lives together in this special loving relationship will be enhanced by how you care for one another in the community of loving people you know now – and those you will meet in the future.
O.K.
So what is love? And especially what is love in the context of marriage?
Some more Baby Boomers: Peter, Paul and Mary -- through the words of Paul Stookey's "Wedding Song" ask the question this way:
"Well then what's to be the reason
For becoming man and wife?
For becoming man and wife?
Is it Love that brings you here
Or Love that brings you life?
Or Love that brings you life?
And if loving is the answer,
Then who's the giving for?
Then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something
That you've never seen before?
There is Love, there is Love."
That you've never seen before?
There is Love, there is Love."
When two people make a loving commitment to one another, they are still separate people, but they become a new entity called a married couple. This joining together is a mystery and also a process. That formation didn't begin today, and it didn't even start the first time you connected online. The love you have today began as a yearning in each of your hearts. As you continue in your life together, Love will bind your hearts in all the ways you allow it to do that for the good of each of you.
So . . . here we all are – full of joy for you both, and glad to share in your happiness. Here we are to witness a kind of miracle -- two people from the farthest reaches of the earth have decided to come together in love.
And when things get tough, everyone who is here who loves you, and people you don't know who will love you – and people who love you who were not able to be here -- will be there to help you. So don't forget to reach out in person, by phone, by internet – or just by crying out in your heart. The help will come, because that's the way Love is.
There's just one more song I want to refer to if you don't mind. It's “Evergreen" by Luther Vandross.
"Love, soft as an easy chair
Love, fresh as the morning air
One love that is shared by two
I have found with you."
Love, fresh as the morning air
One love that is shared by two
I have found with you."
I have loved that song from the first moment I heard it. Describing the spirit of love in ecstatic terms, I think it captures a very romantic vision.
And after all . . . here we are in a romantic place where the two of you have made a special place for people in love. Your love will continue to be renewed because you are sharing what you have found with others and they will help you as well.
So . . . like that idea that there are three important considerations when you are looking for real estate – (location, location, location). I have three pieces of advice for you both:
Love one another.
Love one another.
Love one another.
And may all that is LOVE bless and keep you and all those you love now and forever.
(Let it be so.)
Kathleen Ware Harris s.d.g.
* * * * *
References:
The Gift of Love – 1 Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
* * * * * *
All You Need is Love – Paul McCartney
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
* * * * * * *
PM&M's Wedding Song – Noel Paul Stookey
He is now to be among you
At the calling of your hearts
Rest assured this troubadour
Is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits, here,
Has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you
Are gathered in His name
There is Love, there is Love.
At the calling of your hearts
Rest assured this troubadour
Is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits, here,
Has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you
Are gathered in His name
There is Love, there is Love.
Well, a man shall leave his mother
And a woman leave her home
And they shall travel on to where
The two shall be as one.
As it was in the beginning
Is now and til the end
Woman draws her life from man
And gives it back again.
And there is Love, there is Love.
And a woman leave her home
And they shall travel on to where
The two shall be as one.
As it was in the beginning
Is now and til the end
Woman draws her life from man
And gives it back again.
And there is Love, there is Love.
Well then what's to be the reason
For becoming man and wife?
Is it love that brings you here
Or love that brings you life?
And if loving is the answer,
Then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something
That you've never seen before?
Oh there is Love, there is Love.
For becoming man and wife?
Is it love that brings you here
Or love that brings you life?
And if loving is the answer,
Then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something
That you've never seen before?
Oh there is Love, there is Love.
(Short solo)
Oh! The marriage of your spirits here
Has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you
Are gathered in His name
There is Love, there is Love.
Has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you
Are gathered in His name
There is Love, there is Love.
* * * * *
Evergreen – Luther Vandross
Love, soft as an easy chair
Love, fresh as the morning air
One love that is shared by two
I have found with you
Like a rose under the April snow
I was always certain love would grow
Love ageless and evergreen
Seldom seen by two
So you and I will make each night a first
Everyday a beginning
Sprits rise and their dance go unrehearsed
They warm and excite us
Cause we have the brightest love
Two lights, two lights that shine as one
Morning glory and a midnight sun
Time we learned to sail above
Time the world changed the meaning of
Oh, ooh one love
Ageless and ever,
Evergreen.
Love, fresh as the morning air
One love that is shared by two
I have found with you
Like a rose under the April snow
I was always certain love would grow
Love ageless and evergreen
Seldom seen by two
So you and I will make each night a first
Everyday a beginning
Sprits rise and their dance go unrehearsed
They warm and excite us
Cause we have the brightest love
Two lights, two lights that shine as one
Morning glory and a midnight sun
Time we learned to sail above
Time the world changed the meaning of
Oh, ooh one love
Ageless and ever,
Evergreen.
Kathleen Ware Harris © 2013
kwharris777@gmail.com
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